About

If you’re reading this, you’ve apparently stumbled upon my wordpress.com blog. I advise you to run away while you still can. But if you’re determined to stay, welcome. Welcome to the home of Cinematic Excrement, my (allegedly) humorous take on the worst that Hollywood has to offer. You’ll find video reviews of whatever horrible movies I’ve subjected myself to lately, and possibly the occasional text-based rant on whatever happens to be on my mind at the moment. I hope you will enjoy it. And if you don’t, there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.

23 thoughts on “About

  1. Hey Sean, why don’t you a vlog or review on the tom cruise movie jack reacher? I think you might find it somewhat interesting.

  2. Might I be so bold as to suggest something for you to tear a new one?

    The Time Machine (2002). I caught the last twenty-odd minutes earlier today and that was enough for me to hate the movie.

  3. Hey man, I just finished watching your “Spock’s Brain” episode…I can honestly say I haven’t enjoyed anything as much for ages. Please do more classic episodes of old school sci fi, or even more original series Star Trek. Don’t let the copyright D-bags and rejections get to you, you’re a really inspiring dude, I love your take on things and the effort you put into the reviews. You’re right up there with Red Letter Media in my humble opinion. And thank God you haven’t succumbed to the choppy jump cut style of editing, it’s so refreshing to see someone remain static and have a conversation like a human being.
    Anyway, keep up the good work- I’m spreading the word and supporting you as much as I can.
    Cheers from a fellow metalhead.
    -Will

  4. Hi,
    are you gonna post your reviews still here on wordpress or vimeo? Because the “Left Behind”-review is currently only on Youtube.

  5. I have a request/suggestion. Not one to review, though it would be nice to see how you would review this…interesting, movie. Crocodile Hunter: Colision Course. I am serious, this does exist. It stars the actual Steve Irwin and his wife Terri Irwin. It’s got some bad acting on certain character’s parts, it stupid, but it’s far to hillarious to not view at least once.

  6. Hey Sean,
    Andrew here. Sorry for the delay once again for sending you my rough draft of the screenplay, busy at work, trying to get back in school to get certified as an EMT-Basic and to go back to become EMT-Intermediate, and working on losing weight and building more muscle and looking for an Air Force recruiter, you get it I’ve got a full plate. But I’m trying to work on it more so that it’ll be good and not wind up like the precious stink bombs like the Wedding Ringer or Paul Blart: Mall Cop 1 and/or 2. Sharpening it as I call it. Got to figure out how tv stations work and what are their components and such so that it’s accurate.
    Until then I am Andrew and Hollywood could use a better screenplay.

  7. Hopefully you’ll make episodes on hilariously bad movies like Troll 2, The Wicker Man, Jaws 4, Son of the Mask. Since this year is a shit year for comedy, it would be such joy if you make cinematic excrement episode on this year’s bad comedy like Mortdecai, Unfinished Business, Paul Blart 2, Hot Pursuit, Vacation and Pixels.

  8. Hey Smeghead, can you do reviews of Blues Brothers 2000,Tom and Jerry:The Movie or Michael Jackson’s Moonwalk er i’m sure your reviews of those movies will be hilarious.

  9. Happy 4th of July, Smeghead!

    If you haven’t already, I’d love it if you review/roast the following:

    Megaforce (1982)
    Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
    Solarbabies (1986)
    Leonard Part 6 (1987)
    The Blob (1988)
    Dance ‘Til Dawn (1988)
    The Kiss (1988)
    Best Of the Best; Far From Home (both 1989)
    Prayer Of the Rollerboys (1990)
    No Place To Hide (1992)
    Pumpkinhead 2: Blood Wings (1993)
    Showdown (1993)
    Ticks (1993)
    Savage Land (1994)
    Spitfire (1995)
    Abduction Of Innocence (1996)
    Fear (1996)
    A Kiss So Deadly (1996)
    Lying Eyes (1996)
    Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? (1996)
    Stand Against Fear (1996)
    Gang Related (1997)
    Little Girls In Pretty Boxes (1997)
    True Heart (1997)
    Logan’s War: Bound By Honor (1998)
    Playing To Win (1998)
    The President’s Man (2000)
    Robin & the Dreamweavers (2000)
    My Daughter’s Secret Life (2001)
    Going For Broke (2003)
    Kim Possible: So the Drama (2005)
    Obsessed (2009)
    Girl Vs. Monster (2012)

    …Please and thanks; CINEMATIC EXCREMENT rules!

  10. After your next upcoming episode, you should review The Slaughterhouse Massacre (2005) and the next one after that should be Skeleton Key 2: 667 Neighbor of the Beast.

  11. I love your reviews. I just shared on FB your review of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, which I loved. And I very much appreciated your review of the end of the 4th Twilight movie. When you find out the epic battle didn’t really happen – I, too, lost my shit. Such a let down. The worst movie I have ever seen (Other than “Aurora Encounter”(1986) which my mother took us to see in the theater) is “The Counselor” (2013) starring Michael Fassbender. I usually tell people to not torture themselves with watching it. In fact, I actually warned people on FB after we wasted 2 hours watching it. I WAS going to suggest you watch and review it. I even looked into your archives to see if you HAD reviewed it. But, as I’m writing about it and remembering details of the movie (so, so, so bad) it might not make a good movie to review because it is so dark and f’d up. So, I guess I just wanted to share the worst movie I have seen of all time. Anyhoo, thank you for doing what you do. And if you want a campy stupid movie to review, I suggest Aurora Encounter. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CamGYSBFeT0

  12. A huge thank you for some brilliant, funny reviews. You have truly made my days better. Greetings from Finland 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s